Jadi baru pulang dari praktikum. Aku mecahin alat lo satu haha akhirnya kejadian juga. Tabung reaksi doang sih, aku lebih suka bayar daripada nilainya dipotong, tadinya aku mau nanya soal nilai itu tapi terlalu capek untuk peduli jadi aku biarkan sajalah.
Capek, belakangan aku capek banget. Bukan capek badan, capek yang lebih dalem dari itu, ceileh. Serius. Aku jadi ngantuk terus-terusan dan susah konsentrasi dan selalu ngerasa bosan dan pengen, rasanya pengen ngelempar sesuatu tapi ya itu, terlalu capek.
Sekarang aku lagi nunggu seseorang untuk nge-chat. Apaan sok-sok rahasia haha. Dia tuh salah satu dari sedikit orang yang aku nyaman ngomong apa aja sama mereka. Dan serius, batin aku butuh ngobrol, udah di titik kritis ini.
Aku janji aku ga bakal ngeluh, tapi aku butuh ngeluh sekarang, karena ternyata manusia butuh ngeluh.
Dan kadang aku ngerasa aku tuh tembus pandang. Angin, mungkin. Hantu.
Udah ah, orangnya udah ada.
October 02, 2012
Curcol
Curcol nih sambil nunggu praktikum siang. Kalo bosen udah stop di sini aja. Soalnya mau bikin agak panjang.
Gila aku rindu nulis. Rindu banget. Aku rindu bisa lancar nulis di atas kertas kosong, dulu aku bisa ngisi kertas A2, bolak balik, full tulisan. And actually like what I write. Sekarang kalo aku buka MS Word. Aku diem, aku liatin itu garis kedap-kedip yang harusnya jadi awal tulisan tulisanku. Aku liatin terus. Kalau akhirnya aku nulis, itu pendek, dan aku ga suka apa yang kutulis.
Dulu aku ga peduli apa yang bakal orang pikir tentang apa yang kutulis. Sekarang aku sendiri mikir apa yang bakal kupikir kalo aku baca tulisan yang aku pikir. Apaan sih, meta banget.
Kuliah. Kuliah menyenangkan. Capek, tapi menyenangkan. Aku hampir stres kemaren ngebayangin kalo aku ga bisa masuk geologi, sistem di itb kan matrikulasi dulu sebelum penjurusan, dan yang minat geologi banyak banget, tapi setelah mikir-mikir lagi, kenapa sih aku stres? Emang tujuan aku masuk itb masuk geologinya gitu? Kalo gitu ngapain pindah? Jadi aku inget-inget lagi tujuan aku sebenernya pindah, dan sekarang jadi lebih damai. Tapi tetep aku pengen geologi, amanah orangtua soalnya. Cuma kalopun aku ga dapet, aku bisa menghadapinya dengan lebih kalem.
Oya, aku pengen lebih banyak nulis pake bahasa sekarang. Karena grammar englishku jelek. Dan kata dosen aku, memalukan kalau ada orang Indonesia ngomongnya nyomot bahasa asing sana-sini bilangnya kehabisan kata, karena bahasa Indonesia itu kaya. Dan ternyata emang kaya, aku jadi malu.
Wah ga jadi panjang jadinya. Udah waktunya praktikum. Adios.
Gila aku rindu nulis. Rindu banget. Aku rindu bisa lancar nulis di atas kertas kosong, dulu aku bisa ngisi kertas A2, bolak balik, full tulisan. And actually like what I write. Sekarang kalo aku buka MS Word. Aku diem, aku liatin itu garis kedap-kedip yang harusnya jadi awal tulisan tulisanku. Aku liatin terus. Kalau akhirnya aku nulis, itu pendek, dan aku ga suka apa yang kutulis.
Dulu aku ga peduli apa yang bakal orang pikir tentang apa yang kutulis. Sekarang aku sendiri mikir apa yang bakal kupikir kalo aku baca tulisan yang aku pikir. Apaan sih, meta banget.
Kuliah. Kuliah menyenangkan. Capek, tapi menyenangkan. Aku hampir stres kemaren ngebayangin kalo aku ga bisa masuk geologi, sistem di itb kan matrikulasi dulu sebelum penjurusan, dan yang minat geologi banyak banget, tapi setelah mikir-mikir lagi, kenapa sih aku stres? Emang tujuan aku masuk itb masuk geologinya gitu? Kalo gitu ngapain pindah? Jadi aku inget-inget lagi tujuan aku sebenernya pindah, dan sekarang jadi lebih damai. Tapi tetep aku pengen geologi, amanah orangtua soalnya. Cuma kalopun aku ga dapet, aku bisa menghadapinya dengan lebih kalem.
Oya, aku pengen lebih banyak nulis pake bahasa sekarang. Karena grammar englishku jelek. Dan kata dosen aku, memalukan kalau ada orang Indonesia ngomongnya nyomot bahasa asing sana-sini bilangnya kehabisan kata, karena bahasa Indonesia itu kaya. Dan ternyata emang kaya, aku jadi malu.
Wah ga jadi panjang jadinya. Udah waktunya praktikum. Adios.
August 15, 2012
Update 15-08
Only 12 days to go to my first day at college. Not feeling nervous, well, maybe a bit. But, tt will be great I know :) the people are amazing, so far. And the whole culture just suits me.
btw, if you've read Golden Compass aka His Dark Materials trilogy. And wonder, if you had a daemon what would it be? then take this quiz, it's good, and most importantly not stupid, no fave color question or whatnot.
So if I have a daemon. it would be this fuzzy thing:
btw, if you've read Golden Compass aka His Dark Materials trilogy. And wonder, if you had a daemon what would it be? then take this quiz, it's good, and most importantly not stupid, no fave color question or whatnot.
So if I have a daemon. it would be this fuzzy thing:
a snow leopard! :3
August 10, 2012
The Olympics, not about the sports tho'
Quite astonished how many people, even brits, hate the Olympics logo. Well I get that the logo at first glance sure is eyebrow-rising. The design is far from the traditionals, which usually goes like this:
top: The artist's design. Supposed to symbolize something about the host country
middle: The host country name and the year the games held.
bottom: The Olympic rings.
some classic examples. These are my faves.
But folks at Kino design decided to just mend everything together to this... what a brit said: something looked like torn papers.
You have this crazy typography, not that sleek cool-looking typo designers like to use for brands. But this nearly abstract, bold, THING IN PINK:
The designers said, it resembles youth, energy, and interactivity............
So I shifted my eyes and think... it does!
Heck the traditions. We live in 2012, baby!
Many people whines of how much it doesn't resembles london. We want ol' Big Ben and them big ferrish wheel and whatnot. Okay, I'm not familiar with London. But from a foreigner viewpoint it resembles some of the things I heard about great britain and its people. That creative, rebel, tongue-in-cheek attitude. Besides, without any London icons all over the logo, it transcends cultures and nationality. It's also flexible and easy to modify so big sponsorship fortune right there. Rather than symbolizing things already physically symbolize themselves (what?) the logo manifest the very spirit of London and Londoneers.
GB is an old folk, been there, done that, overseen so much. Nothing more to surprise us, especially after the grandiose and exotic Beijing 2008 Olympic, how could poor old GB beat that? people wonder.
Then came their logo. The controversy in PINK. and then Danny Boyle making the holy ceremony of Olympic opening more like a journey to Madhatter's head. Where Mary Poppins fly while a big creepy baby is surrounded by nurses and hospital beds singing and dancing. Not to mention Her Majesty jumps out of a helicopter escorted with agent 007 himself.
Is it good? Is it proper for the event?
No one can tell. But it did made people laugh and astonished, it was interesting, different, engaging. Beijing was majestic, an unbelievable show of mass discipline and accuracy. So instead of failingly try to compete with that, London offer us something we cannot compare with any other Olympics, something very different and enjoyable, where you can actually laugh.
I think as a whole the 2012 Olympics is the very fresh start point for the ancient tradition to survive this century.
Applause for the brits.
Btw, newspaper in UK even went as far as held their own contest to find alternative logos. I don't know whether the people were joking or what because the alternatives are so horrible lol. But I did found one that I love, even a bit more than the current logo:
Young, energetic, and interactive indeed
August 07, 2012
Update 7-8-12
Saddest thing happened yesterday. Dudut (my cat) hurts her front-left leg, I think it hurts so much she won't step with that leg, so she became a three-legged cat for a night. Breaks my heart so much :(
But she's okay now :) I checked her this morning, still a bit limp but she walks just fine. I bet she's sleeping now in her favorite spot.
Hey have you watched this trailer? I'm lovin' the vibe of it
But she's okay now :) I checked her this morning, still a bit limp but she walks just fine. I bet she's sleeping now in her favorite spot.
Hey have you watched this trailer? I'm lovin' the vibe of it
Beasts of The Southern Wild
August 05, 2012
July 23, 2012
ITB, for real
Hi world, you still there?
Long story short, I got ITB. Once a dear dream o' mine. Like, since I was six. The weird thing is I got it when I least expect it, I was nearly finally accept the fact that I won't graduate there, I was just starting to love my friends at Unpad. Pretty much nearly settled everything down. And then, BAM. Life gives me lemonade. My first response when I see the box on supposedly a blank page was: What the? Whose joke is this? I went silent. I called my Ma and Pa, whom each immediately praise the Lord. When I finally snapped out I yelled "Kenapa kakak masuk??" (Why did I get it??) in a surprised-sad kind of way. Yes, sad. I am aware that upon my acceptance life will only get harder and harder. No more lazy times. No compromise. This is the real thing, that I will finally be able to pursue my dreams for real, everything on a stake.
Long story short, I got ITB. Once a dear dream o' mine. Like, since I was six. The weird thing is I got it when I least expect it, I was nearly finally accept the fact that I won't graduate there, I was just starting to love my friends at Unpad. Pretty much nearly settled everything down. And then, BAM. Life gives me lemonade. My first response when I see the box on supposedly a blank page was: What the? Whose joke is this? I went silent. I called my Ma and Pa, whom each immediately praise the Lord. When I finally snapped out I yelled "Kenapa kakak masuk??" (Why did I get it??) in a surprised-sad kind of way. Yes, sad. I am aware that upon my acceptance life will only get harder and harder. No more lazy times. No compromise. This is the real thing, that I will finally be able to pursue my dreams for real, everything on a stake.
April 02, 2012
Hari Ini Nabrak Bapak-Bapak
Been so long :D Kuliah tuh gila, makan waktu banyak banget. Terus kadang pas nyampe rumah aku duduk, nafas, terus, "eh, tadi aku ngapain aja sih?".
Kuliah bikin aku pikun. Bisa lupa tanggal, ini hari apa bulan apa tahun apa, dan em, melewatkan banyak ulangtahun. Jadi maaf ya teman-teman yg ulangtahunnya terlupakan. Aku juga keterlaluan ingetnya kadang baru seminggu abis tanggalnya dan baru inget, dan yaudah, mending sekalian ga ngucapin (haha parah). Jadi selamat ulangtahun ya buat semua yang terlupakan hahaha (parah banget minta ditimpuk).
Tapi menyenangkan ko, kuliah menyenangkan banget :) Mungkin di antara anak2 unpad anak geologi paling aneh. Melototin batu, ngeliat batu dibilang batunya lucu, stres. Ato ga muter-muter balok-balokan (ceritanya kristal) ribut diskusi ini bisa dipotong berapa kali jadi sama, punya inti ga, punya berapa sumbunya, dan setelah dicari-cari dan lama diskusi ternyata diambil kesimpulan: kristal yang bersangkutan ga punya apa-apa, ga punya inti, ga ada sumbu simetri, ga ada mirror, ga ada apapun; mati aja lah kristalnya.
Kuliah bikin aku pikun. Bisa lupa tanggal, ini hari apa bulan apa tahun apa, dan em, melewatkan banyak ulangtahun. Jadi maaf ya teman-teman yg ulangtahunnya terlupakan. Aku juga keterlaluan ingetnya kadang baru seminggu abis tanggalnya dan baru inget, dan yaudah, mending sekalian ga ngucapin (haha parah). Jadi selamat ulangtahun ya buat semua yang terlupakan hahaha (parah banget minta ditimpuk).
Tapi menyenangkan ko, kuliah menyenangkan banget :) Mungkin di antara anak2 unpad anak geologi paling aneh. Melototin batu, ngeliat batu dibilang batunya lucu, stres. Ato ga muter-muter balok-balokan (ceritanya kristal) ribut diskusi ini bisa dipotong berapa kali jadi sama, punya inti ga, punya berapa sumbunya, dan setelah dicari-cari dan lama diskusi ternyata diambil kesimpulan: kristal yang bersangkutan ga punya apa-apa, ga punya inti, ga ada sumbu simetri, ga ada mirror, ga ada apapun; mati aja lah kristalnya.
*ceritanya* kristal
Apalagi?
Oya, jadi inget Kurt:
"suddenly our dreams show up and expect us to do something about it"
persis yang aku rasain sekarang.
Apalagi?
Oya, aku nabrak bapak-bapak hari ini, di simpang tiga depan muamalat yang istiqamah bandung. Ceritanya aku mau belok kiri, dia (naik motor) ke kanan. Gara-gara alur lalu lintasnya yang padet aku terdesak ke jalur kanan, si bapak di kiri; aku mau ke kiri, dia ke kanan, aku ga liat lampu motor bapaknya soalnya kita udah sejajar, dan pas kita belok ke arah masing-masing, nabrak deh. Keras lo. Kukira bapaknya bakal jatuh dari motor, alhamdulillah enggak. Kita ke pinggir, aku buka kaca mobil.
si bapak bilang "Kenapa neng? kan tadi udah di kasih lampu"
aku: "Maaf pak, gak liat"
terus aku keluar mobil, bapak ngebuka sepatu gosok-gosok kakinya
aku: "pak, ada yang luka gak?"
bapak: "yaaa, luka mah enggak, tapi sakit"
aku diem, ngelirik mobil, lecet. Aku tanyain lagi bapaknya katanya ga papa, dia bilang lain kali hati-hati, terus aku minta maaf, bapaknya nge-iya-in. Dan udah deh.
Maaf ya pak.
Banget. Moga bapak enggak apa-apa...
Naik mobil tuh kaya buah simalakama. Ada manisnya, gampang transport, kena hujan, angin, panas, terjang aja ga masalah. Tapi susah parkir dan tanggung jawabnya gede. Belum pertamax mahal. Hahh...
Sudahlah, I still love you car
Apalagi?
Udah dulu sih.
Dah ya, sampai jumpa di hari kosong lagi.
Oya, jadi inget Kurt:
"suddenly our dreams show up and expect us to do something about it"
persis yang aku rasain sekarang.
Apalagi?
Oya, aku nabrak bapak-bapak hari ini, di simpang tiga depan muamalat yang istiqamah bandung. Ceritanya aku mau belok kiri, dia (naik motor) ke kanan. Gara-gara alur lalu lintasnya yang padet aku terdesak ke jalur kanan, si bapak di kiri; aku mau ke kiri, dia ke kanan, aku ga liat lampu motor bapaknya soalnya kita udah sejajar, dan pas kita belok ke arah masing-masing, nabrak deh. Keras lo. Kukira bapaknya bakal jatuh dari motor, alhamdulillah enggak. Kita ke pinggir, aku buka kaca mobil.
si bapak bilang "Kenapa neng? kan tadi udah di kasih lampu"
aku: "Maaf pak, gak liat"
terus aku keluar mobil, bapak ngebuka sepatu gosok-gosok kakinya
aku: "pak, ada yang luka gak?"
bapak: "yaaa, luka mah enggak, tapi sakit"
aku diem, ngelirik mobil, lecet. Aku tanyain lagi bapaknya katanya ga papa, dia bilang lain kali hati-hati, terus aku minta maaf, bapaknya nge-iya-in. Dan udah deh.
Maaf ya pak.
Banget. Moga bapak enggak apa-apa...
Naik mobil tuh kaya buah simalakama. Ada manisnya, gampang transport, kena hujan, angin, panas, terjang aja ga masalah. Tapi susah parkir dan tanggung jawabnya gede. Belum pertamax mahal. Hahh...
Sudahlah, I still love you car
Apalagi?
Udah dulu sih.
Dah ya, sampai jumpa di hari kosong lagi.
February 06, 2012
We're Only a Speck
You know I can see the whole city just outside my house? All of it, and the gigantic mountains surrounding it, like old giants just sitting there observing these little creatures on their toes.
And you know what made me laugh? Of thousands of people rummaging the streets, all kinds of them doing every kind of things possible, I cannot see a single one. Yet when I go down there, it's as if it's all that matters, that I am the center of universe and when I go wrong everything seems wrong. There in that tiny splotch just between the mountains, is where my life is all about.
But then I stand here and I can’t see a thing. How funny is that?
And you know what made me laugh? Of thousands of people rummaging the streets, all kinds of them doing every kind of things possible, I cannot see a single one. Yet when I go down there, it's as if it's all that matters, that I am the center of universe and when I go wrong everything seems wrong. There in that tiny splotch just between the mountains, is where my life is all about.
But then I stand here and I can’t see a thing. How funny is that?
February 03, 2012
Strong
The day I thought: "I'm 18 and my life is all over and figured out"
These dull days made me think too much, lately I feel disappointed by myself, by not being in the track I want, being not good enough to change anything, being so weak and aimless. I had trouble sleeping sometimes, I feel sleepy alright but too much thought inside my head. Like war. Sometimes I glide between what you said dreaming and staying awake. And when I snap out of it everything felt suffocating, wrong, just wrong. I thought, this is it, girl, this is how you will end. Boring as always. But then,
I was currently on a novel marathon, then my Ma said it's time to pick up Audi. I changed, go downstairs, go upstairs to grab U2, down and up again to grab my bag, finally, down, and drive. I drive half-consciously, not thinking anything, that time I just felt blank, as like the last page of a book. At a time U2 was playing track 4, Unknown Caller, I wasn't listening to it. Then I passed some polices doing raid, I'm on alert again. After I passed them some lyrics managed to get in my head,
...Restart and reboot yourself/You're free to go/Shout for joy if you get the chance/Password, you, enter here, right now/You know your name so punch it in...
That did make me smile. I didn't think it further anymore. Then I pick up my brother, he said he want to get home quick, don't know why, want to pee or something maybe. When I got home I still feel blank. I decided to check some things at my Uni website, turned out it's down so I stare to the screen don;t know what to do. On some miracle I try to update the blog. I typed some words, erased it, typed it again. Another dead end. I open some of the blogs I knew, my first was one of junior high friend. Turns out her father suffers for cancer right now, st. IV. And how she deals with it, it put me in shame. She's so tough and positive... And me wailing about how I thought my life being off track. I feel tiny. Like I have no right to go emo right now, I was so blind and narrow-minded.
I will try to be more positive, more forgiving to myself, now. In the meantime, please pray for Nisa and her father. I hope you guys will be alright :)
These dull days made me think too much, lately I feel disappointed by myself, by not being in the track I want, being not good enough to change anything, being so weak and aimless. I had trouble sleeping sometimes, I feel sleepy alright but too much thought inside my head. Like war. Sometimes I glide between what you said dreaming and staying awake. And when I snap out of it everything felt suffocating, wrong, just wrong. I thought, this is it, girl, this is how you will end. Boring as always. But then,
I was currently on a novel marathon, then my Ma said it's time to pick up Audi. I changed, go downstairs, go upstairs to grab U2, down and up again to grab my bag, finally, down, and drive. I drive half-consciously, not thinking anything, that time I just felt blank, as like the last page of a book. At a time U2 was playing track 4, Unknown Caller, I wasn't listening to it. Then I passed some polices doing raid, I'm on alert again. After I passed them some lyrics managed to get in my head,
...Restart and reboot yourself/You're free to go/Shout for joy if you get the chance/Password, you, enter here, right now/You know your name so punch it in...
That did make me smile. I didn't think it further anymore. Then I pick up my brother, he said he want to get home quick, don't know why, want to pee or something maybe. When I got home I still feel blank. I decided to check some things at my Uni website, turned out it's down so I stare to the screen don;t know what to do. On some miracle I try to update the blog. I typed some words, erased it, typed it again. Another dead end. I open some of the blogs I knew, my first was one of junior high friend. Turns out her father suffers for cancer right now, st. IV. And how she deals with it, it put me in shame. She's so tough and positive... And me wailing about how I thought my life being off track. I feel tiny. Like I have no right to go emo right now, I was so blind and narrow-minded.
I will try to be more positive, more forgiving to myself, now. In the meantime, please pray for Nisa and her father. I hope you guys will be alright :)
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